In this week’s episode of The Deal Maker Podcast, I’m thrilled to welcome Matthew Jeffery for an in-depth conversation on transforming adversity into success. Are you dreaming of breaking free from your 9-5 job or unsure how to start in property investment? This episode is tailored for you.
We delve into our childhood struggles with poverty and bullying and how these challenges fueled our drive toward substantial life goals. Matthew and I explore the significance of having a ‘big why’—a crucial motivator in personal and professional growth. We share poignant anecdotes to illustrate how essential daily positive actions and accountability are in achieving success.
Are you ready to transform your life challenges into opportunities and achieve greater fulfillment? Join us as we discuss practical strategies for daily progress and the transformative power of community and mentorship. Get ready to take actionable steps towards building the life you desire. Always today, never tomorrow—let’s get started!
Follow Matthew here: @matthewjfulfillment
KEY TAKEAWAYS
- Turning pain into gain – The speakers discussed how they were able to use the pain and challenges they faced in their childhood, such as being bullied or having an absent father, as motivation to strive for a better life.
- The importance of taking action – Both speakers emphasized the importance of taking action and not procrastinating. They shared strategies like having a daily action plan and using accountability partners to stay on track.
- Building a supportive community – The speakers talked about the “Fulfilled Warriors” community they have created to provide guidance and support to people seeking fulfillment in their lives.
- Focusing on the positive – The speakers advised listeners to avoid dwelling on negative experiences and instead put challenges in a “little box” to deal with briefly, while maintaining an empowered, positive mindset to drive progress.
FULL TRANSCRIPT
My vision and where I want to go in life. I typically got to that next level when I’ve been in some type of pain. I was bullied. I was the poor kid at school. I had the holes in my shoes. My mum was a single parent. That was a lot of pain. Do you stay in pain? Or do you look for the game? I became obsessed with opulent items. I would look at fast cars and men in suits and women dressed nicely, and private yachts and private jet. I became obsessed at the age of eight with fast cars and opulent items. My whole bedroom had Lamborghinis and Ferraris all over it. I always wanted to be there for my mum, but because I didn’t see my dad often, and I’m a male and my dad’s a male, I was almost pining for my dad, and I just, I always wanted to make my dad really, really, really, really proud. No action. If you don’t take action, it’s got to come from within. No one’s going to do it for you. Lesson that I’ve learned, and I think we all learn in life, if you do not take action, how is anything going to change? Like your motto, we have one in fulfilled warriors, always today, never tomorrow.
Who is like your ideal client?
Welcome to the deal makers Podcast. I’m Matthew Jay your host, UK’s number one fulfillment mentor and coach, founder of the MAKE IT system. And I’m here with the main man, Liam Ryan, and today’s topic is, how did you inspire yourself in order to achieve your fulfilling life? Oh, what a great question. Thank you. This is going to be an absolutely incredible topic, because hopefully you’re tuning into this and you want to have a more fulfilled life. Yeah. Unfortunately, millions of people are currently feeling unfulfilled. You said there was a 900 million people across the world. So 900 million people across the world. It’s just to put that into some context. You said that’s 13.5 times the size of England, the population of England. Oh, my goodness, yeah. So if you’re listening to this and you’re feeling unfulfilled, or you’re fulfilled and you want to go to the next level, you’re going to absolutely love this podcast. I believe that in order to be on the path of fulfillment, you need to be tuned in to your big why and your vision, yeah, and that needs to be greater than you. How do you tune into that? Well, sometimes you have those moments, and you know, from being in a lot of pain, okay, so that’s the identifier, yeah. So you can either stay in pain or you can move to something we call gain, yeah, and my vision and where I want to go in life, I’ve typically got to that next level when I’ve been in some type of pain, yeah, so for example, for example, being a Child and being bullied. I was bullied. I was the poor kid at school. I had the holes in my shoes. My mum was a single parent listening to my mum cry herself to sleep, and we lived in a woman’s refuge at one point. So as a child, that was a lot of pain. Do you stay in pain, or do you look for the gain? Yeah. And I remember being a child and then spending my Saturdays and Sundays over on the square, you know, like most estates, council estates or housing estates, they have an area where there’s the shops, sure, yeah. Well, there used to be this parade of shops. There was a co op, there was a news agent, there was a hairdressers, there’s a fish and chip shop. And I used to spend because my mom didn’t have any money to send me to weekend clubs. Okay, so I would spend my weekends in the news agents at the back, literally looking at magazines. And I became obsessed with opulent items. I would look at fast cars and men in suits and women dressed nicely, and private yachts and private jets. And I became obsessed at the age of eight with fast cars and opulent items. My whole bedroom had Lamborghinis and Ferraris all over it, so there was some pain there, but I started to forge my my life at a very young age, and somewhere in that, I made a decision that I wasn’t going to be skint. I was going to become a multimillionaire, and I was going to do whatever it took to basically look after my mum, who was a single parent, and my brother, who was six years younger than me. So even then as a child, yeah, I started to have a vision of a great life.
Okay, so you mentioned your your mum and your siblings, and what about your dad? Because I know very interesting area, yeah, yeah. So, so my mum and dad weren’t together from about the age of two, and they were. Young, like my mum was 19. I think my dad was 21 when he had me, and my dad was in the army, and I, I always wanted to be there for my mum, yeah, but because I didn’t see my dad often, and I’m a male and my dad’s a male, I was almost pining for my dad and and I just, I always wanted to make my dad really, really, really proud. Yeah, every time I saw him like, I just wanted him to be really, really proud of me. Something similar for you. Yeah, 100% similar. Well, yeah, divorced, parentage, slightly estranged from my my father, I would say, in terms of the relationship. I was like, you living with my mother and, yeah. Just really wanted to have that moment of, Hey, son, I’m proud of you, you know. And it’s maybe that sounds really trivial, but I know a lot of other guys have said the same thing, yeah, so we’re going to say it now. Yeah, exactly, yeah.
I always wanted my dad’s approval. My dad was I just didn’t see him a lot, and he got remarried, and he had two more children, and I always felt, and it wasn’t their fault, by the way, but I never quite felt I was part of that family, and always felt a little bit less than and anyway, you know, I’ve spoken to my half brother and sister and my stepmom about this, and my dad when, when he was, when he was with us. You know, my dad passed away at the age of 53 Yeah, with cancer, yeah. So I’m 43 now. Yeah, that’s just 10 years away from where I am today. That the thought of not being on this planet 10 years from now, like, absolutely freaks me the hell out. Yeah, like, I plan to live till I’m 143 let alone 43 or 53 so life is so precious. Life is so precious. And, yeah, I always wanted to make my dad proud. And I remember that saying to me once he was saying, Son, go out there and make millions of pounds and make this world a better place. But always remember your moral compass. And then that gave me some drive. And some was like, You know what I can do a lot in my life. So that was a click moment for you. That was a click moment for me, yeah, and it’s interesting you talk about the news agents and like, the reference material that as a child you then grew up with into the adult that we see here. Yeah, it was the same for me. My My father actually ran a news agent shop new market, and I would go in and spend hours, you know, going through the comic books. It’s where I discovered prints, the musician. And music’s been a big part of my life. And I’m so blessed that I’ve discovered Prince. And, you know, rip Prince, but he gave the world a lot through his art. And I think everyone has their channel, don’t they? Yeah, definitely. And it is just that moment of father to son, you know, where is that recognition?
I think that’s missing in a lot of people’s lives and on, and also for females, but definitely for males as well, yeah, but you know what that that stuff has I’m a dad now. I’ve got a beautiful wife, Holly, I’ve got two children with my ex, either who’s now 19, Charlie, who’s 17, either, recently just had a boyfriend and they’re broken up. So we’re going through all that stuff right now. Charlie’s 17. He works for me. And then with my wife, Holly, I’ve got Ivy, who’s eight, and winter, who’s four, yeah, and, you know, I now get to be an incredible dad, and I get to now learn from some of the mistakes or the things my dad may or wanted to have done better, so I can now Empower so it’s about continuously staying in an empowered state no matter what’s going on for you in your life. Yeah, and something which I do, you know we all have stuff going on, like we all have stuff going on, but you’ve got to try and put them in the little boxes. Sure. So even if I have something going on right now, let’s just say with my wife or a business partner or, you know, something is challenging me, yeah, but you can’t allow that to affect the whole day, no, the whole week, the whole month, the whole year. You can’t use that. You got to put it in a little box, yeah, you got to deal with it for maybe 10 or 20 minutes a day, and then get ready, get get on action. This is so important. My dad was like, you gotta take action, son. And I’ve always wanted to take action ever since, wanting to be the dad in the family for my mom. Yeah, and, and, you know, hanging around with my dad, I think this is important. You’re all about the action as well, right?
Absolutely. Well, yeah, yeah, I grew up with action men, literally and no action. If you don’t take action, it’s got to come from within. You know, no one’s going to do it for you. That’s a lesson that I’ve learned, and I think we all learn in life. And yeah, if you do not take action, how is anything going to change? Change, yeah, yeah, that is the point of change. Yeah. And something you can do to take more action. So if you’re tuning into this now and you find that you procrastinate a lot, or you’re slow at things you don’t implement quick enough, you overthink, you over analyze, you change your mind all the time. Something which I do is I have a motto. I’m going to share this with everyone now, and you may want to write this down. I will act fast. I will act now. I will act today. This is simple, yeah. And there are times in the morning, for example, I wake up and I’ve got to be at the gym, like it like at six o’clock this morning, and I’m like, Oh, it’s hot bars five, and the monkeys on the shoulder and the negativities in there. Ah, 54321, let’s go, Yeah, at least 54321, out the bed. Yeah, that is the next that is the first action that I can really possibly do. And the moment I’m then out of bed, the next action takes place, clean my teeth, yeah, all of a sudden I feel a bit better. Then I’m putting on clothes, and then I’m in the car, yeah, and then I’m in the gym, and I’m like, oh, it’s seven o’clock. I feel freaking incredible, because, you know what, if you if you didn’t do that, and you go, Oh no, snooze button, line, bed. You know, that’s a choice. You’ve actually still made a choice. You’ve just made a choice not to take action. Yeah, well, you’re taking action, but it’s a passive act. Yeah, it’s probably a negative action. You don’t start your day well, you miss the gym, you let someone down. It’s one of the reasons why I pay a trainer, yeah, because I I’ve got more chance like 99.9 I very rarely miss a session or cancel a session, but 99.999% chance that I’m going to be there because I have my trainer keeping me accountable. It’s why I have great mentors in my life. Because I’m going to be there, they tell me to do these seven things I don’t want to turn up to next week’s session, and I haven’t done those seven things that make sense? Absolutely so having someone to keep you to a high level of accountability, and also having that drive some things that happen in your life, like a bad relationship or not seeing your children or a conversation with your mom or dad or losing someone, there’s no point going into self pity. You’ve got to use that as fuel to drive you to the next level. Yeah, we’ve all lost someone. Yeah, I’m not saying you can’t be upset. You know, we’ve all had difficult moments, but you can’t allow a previous experience relationship to get in the way of you taking new positive action
absolutely and like your motto, we have one in fulfilled warriors, which is always today, never tomorrow. Yeah, I love that. Get up and go, always today, never tomorrow.
I might steal that one off, okay, right? I might use that on stage at one, at one of my events, yeah, um, but look fulfilled volumes. This is you’ve created an incredible brand. You know, I’ve mentored you through this process, but, but just tell us a little bit about fulfilled warriors. It’s building a community of like minded people, men and women. So we have fulfilled warriors and fulfilled Empress, and it’s just building a community of peers that are getting guidance from myself as fulfillment coach and mentor through the MAKE IT program, and together, we see incredible positive benefits. And it is. It’s really heartwarming to see people grow as an individual, self development, personal, professionally, and one of the new things we’ve added in recently is a bit of a personal shopping element and loving it. I’ve gone through my own experience. I’m doing it for others, and the transformation is literal. Transform. You know, you and I, we like our clothing, and you know, we like to feel good about ourselves, but when you see clients who are a bit low in self confidence, low self esteem, and then we go out and do this with them, oh my goodness.
So Shane, so who is your ideal? So people are tuning into this now, and there’s a lot of people that listen and watch this, who is like your ideal client. I knew he was going to do this.
It could literally be a divorce email or female who has had, you know, professional life and then just been thrown, you know, world’s been turned upside down through that life situation. Could be someone who’s gone through a particularly extreme life challenge in terms of, you know, mental health. And it could be equally so, someone who hasn’t had challenges, per se, but just knows that they there’s something, there’s a next level for them. You know, it’s just over there. They’re sort of on top of this. Mountain peak, and they’re looking down going, how the heck do I get down here? That’s when you need guidance and mentorship, and that’s very much where the MAKE IT system is proven and kicks in. And yeah, fulfilled warriors or and I love you’re very much similar to me. And anyone tuning into this, it is about action, yeah, and you don’t want to overwhelm yourself, so let me give you some actionable steps, right? Make a list of three things every single day that you can do that’s going to move you towards success. Only three. Now, if you can do five or seven or 10, that’s great, but you can do three additional things, part time, morning, afternoon, evening, weekends. There’s always a way get up earlier, go to bed lane, but do three things that are positive, that’s going to move you forward. You do that, let’s just say six days a week. Yeah, that’s 18 things. You get a couple of bonus things in you’ve done 20 really positive actions. You do that, week two, week three, week four, week 48 week 50, week 52 you get that compounding effect. All of a sudden, all these different areas of your life become better, and you become a better version of yourself. There is always that next level to go to. Right? Matthew 100, so there are some tips and tricks for me do those three things, and I promise you things will get better.
That’s awesome. So we’re going to wind up there, always today, never tomorrow. Folks, thank you. Liam, great episode. Really, enjoyed that. And yeah, if you want to check out more on make it and fulfilled warriors, hit up Matthew J fulfill fulfillment on Instagram.
Great, good. We will see you in the next episode. Tune in now. And if you’re getting great value from this, please hit the Like Comment, Share, Subscribe button. Let’s get this into as many people’s ears as we possibly can. I’m a man on a mission to impact a billion lives globally. Help me with that, please. This is a great thing that we’re doing, and I really appreciate you being part of the deal maker podcast and journey.
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